Halloween Jokes
Q: What did the skeleton say to the lying ghost?
A: I can see right through you.
Q. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A. He didn’t have the guts.
Q. What do
skeletons order at a restaurant?
A. Spare ribs.
Q. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance?
A. Because he had nobody to dance with.
Q. Why do skeletons have low self-esteem?
A. They have nobody to love.
Q. Why do skeletons stay so calm?
A. Because nothing gets under their skin.
Q. Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A. Because there was nobody on the other side.
Q. How do you make a skeleton laugh?
A. Tickle her funnybone.
Q. What does a skeleton say before dinner?
A. Bone-Appetit!
Q. Why did the skeleton climb a tree?
A. Because a dog was after his bones!
Q. Why can't skeletons play church music?
A. Because they have no organs.
Q. What did one skeleton say to the other skeleton?
A. You're dead to me.
Q. Why did the skeleton start a fight?
A. Because he had a bone to pick.
Q. What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
A. Will you marrow me?
Q. What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
A. Bone voyage.
Q. What do you call a skeleton who goes to work but doesn't do any work?
A. Lazy bones.
Q: What dishes do skeletons bring out on Halloween?
A: They use Bone China.
Q: What did the skeletons dress up as on Halloween?
A: Humans
Q. What do ghosts wash their hair with?
A. Sham-boo
Q. Why did the policeman ticket the ghost on Halloween?
A. It didn’t have a hunting license.
Q. Why are ghosts so bad at lying?
A. Because you can see right through them!
Q. What is the room in the house least liked by ghosts?
A. The living room.
Q. Where can ghosts take a bath?
A. In the Dead Sea.
Q. What is the favorite game of the little ghost which he plays all night in the ancient manor?
A. He absolutely loves playing hide and shriek!
Q. How did the ghost get from New York to London?
A. British Scare-ways.
Q. What do you call a witch who goes to the beach?
A. A sand-witch.
Q. What do you get to learn at witch school?
A. Spelling.
Q. What game do witches play on Halloween?
A. Hide and ghost seek.
Q: What is evil and ugly and bounces?
A: A witch on a trampoline!
Q: Where does Dracula keep his valuables?
A: At the blood bank.
Q: What did Dracula say to his victim?
A: It’s been nice gnawing you.
Q; Why did Dracula visit the dentist?
A: He had a fang-ache.
Q: What does Dracula say when he wakes up?
A: Good evening
Q: What kind of dog does Dracula have?
A: A bloodhound.
Q: What do you call the family and relatives of gourds?
A: Pump-kin.
Q: When does a jack-o-lantern eat?
A: As soon as you carve it a mouth.
Q: What is a pumpkin’s favorite sport?
A: Squash!
Q: What is a mummy's favorite kind of music?
A: Wrap music.
Q: Why didn't the mummy have any friends?
A: Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Q: Why do Pharaohs never tell dad jokes?
A: Because they are all mummies.
Q: Why are Mummies a popular Halloween monster?
A: Because everyone loves their mummies!
Q: What did the scarecrow say to the kid dressed up as corn?
A: That costume is a maize-ling!
Q: How does a scarecrow drink from a cup?
A: With a straw.
Q: Why did the city-dwelling scarecrow keep going to the all-you-can-drink restaurants?
A: To stuff himself full of new straws!
Q: Why did the Scarecrow not hang out with any cows?
A: Because it might cost him his arms and legs.
Q: How would an owl wish someone Happy Halloween?
A: "Happy Owl-oween!"
Q: What fruit do scarecrows love to have the most?
A: Straw-berries.
Q: What do most birds say on Halloween?
A: Trick or Tweet!
Q: What does Bigfoot say when he wants candy?
A: "Trick or feet!"
Q: How is October found?
A: By crossing an octopus with a bear!
Q: Which item do most female ghosts use while putting on their makeup?
A: Vanishing cream!
Q: What kind of bear has no teeth?
A: A gummy bear!
Q: What did the ghost say about his favorite meal?
A: "The spooketi was delicious!"
Q: What is huge, scary, and has three wheels?
A: A monster riding a tricycle!
Q: Why do witches fly on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy.
1. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Ghost.
Ghost who?
Ghost stand over there and I’ll
bring you some candy!
2. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Bee.
Bee who?
Bee-ware, there’s a full
moon this Halloween!
3. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a
Halloween costume!
4. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Ice Cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I
see a ghost!
5. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive your Halloween
costume!
6. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Frank.
Frank who?
Frankenstein!
7. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Phillip my bag with
Halloween candy!
8. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Abbott.
Abbott who?
Abbott time you answered
the door, where’s my
candy?
9. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Police.
Police who?
Police give me some candy!
10. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Emma.
Emma who?
Emma gonna get any
Halloween candy?
11. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Iran.
Iran who?
Iran over here to get some candy!
12. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Twig,
Twig who?
Twig or treat!
13. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Max.
Max who?
Max no difference. Trick or treat!
14. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Candy.
Candy who?
Candy cow jump over the moon?
15. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Bean.
Bean who?
Bean waiting all day to go trick or treating!
16. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Celeste.
Celeste who?
Celeste time I’m going to tell you this, trick or treat!
17. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Justin.
Justin who?
Justin time for Halloween!
18. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Norway.
Norway who?
Norway I’m leaving till you give me a candy!
19. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Eddie.
Eddie who?
Eddie body home, it’s Halloween!
20. Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Cereal.
Cereal who?
Cereal killer! Pleased to eat you!
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